This isn't going to be
nearly as profound and wonderful as the most famous work that began with the words in my title, but it is my first post, so here I go;
I figure, since, nothing profoundly interesting is going on in my life at this moment, I will begin with
kind of a testimony of my life.
I was born in Omaha, Nebraska to a christian family. I have a beautiful mom, Keri, a silly but brilliant dad, Mark, and quite possibly the perfect combination of both plus more, my little sister, Kati.
I went to a k-12 christian school and I grew up in a Bible-believing church (that has since got to pot, but
that's a different story). I was saved at
vbs when I was around 4 by my Aunt
Vickie's mom, Grandma Titus. I was baptized when I was 8.
Although I had many christian influences in my life, I never really had a personal relationship with God growing up. I had some tough junior high years that involved a medical condition that I couldn't help or cure but other kids found it awesome fuel for
harassment, depression, anorexia, and suicidal tendencies. One night, while laying in bed, crying
uncontrollably, I was finally going to take all of the pills I'd collected from the house over time, but I heard a voice, that I know was from heaven, saying, "This isn't it. I've got more for you." I put the pills down and clung to those words over the next year of hardship. Once I was in high school, things started to get a little better. My medical condition randomly went away, and two wonderful girls befriended me. Things really started to turn around. Come sophomore year, though, I still had a problem; God was not a part of my life. I was an angry, bitter, rude person. I had harbored a lot of
hatred in my heart for the people who had tortured me through junior high and it really hardened me. I had some wonderful friends, but I was far from happy. One day, a family friend gave me a book on The Prayer of Jabez. My mom suggested I read a chapter of that every night for devotions. I looked through the book and decided that would be wicked easy because the chapters were only like, a few pages long, and it would be doing that thing that I was supposed to be doing, like homework for God. Easy enough. So I did....and I loved it. I never expected my attitude, heart, life to change so drastically! The 'homework for God' became 'spending time with my wonderful Friend'; something I loved and desired to do.
Fast-forward through the rest of high school; I graduated!
Haha. It actually wasn't a surprise. Anyways, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, so I decided to just attend
UNO (the University of Nebraska at Omaha) like the majority of my classmates, and just take gen-eds. Mom and I went over and signed up for classes with a counselor. She printed off my schedule and said "Wow, I've never seen anyone have such a nice schedule before! This is rare, you're lucky!" I was holding back tears. My mom and I got out of the counselors office, I was crying by that point, I said, "Mom, don't give them any money, I can't go here." Mom said, "Lauren! It's
ok! You don't have to! What's wrong?" I told her something just didn't feel right and I couldn't go there. She said, "
Ok,
that's just fine, but where are you going to go?" I blurted without a single thought or hesitation, "I have to go to Faith." (
referring to Faith Baptist Bible College in
Ankeny, IA, a place I swore I'd never go!) Mom said, "REALLY???!!!!" She was so excited. We both cried and prayed right in the parking lot at
UNO. Thus began my journey.
The summer after high school was the
BEST summer of my life. I was going to a wonderful Saturday night Bible study with some of my fellow graduates. It was awesome, we learned so much. It was such a spiritual high! I thought, "Man, I bet Faith is like this all day every day! It's gonna be awesome!!!!" I had also began to date quite possibly the most fantastic guy I was convinced God had ever created. He loved God so much and at the time, I thought we'd be together forever, and I wanted that more than anything.
Fast-forward to Faith. Now, just a little info about me; I was the most homesick person you could possibly imagine. I hated taking trips in high school because of it. It was one of the reasons I swore I'd never go to Faith. Anyways, moving in was probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. Mom and I were both sick to our stomachs and I was pretty much paralyzed with fear. But I knew I was supposed to be there and God's power would be made perfect through my weakness. My family left after moving me in and there I was, alone. The week that followed was awful. I began to realize that the '
Christians' I was meeting at Faith were nothing like my loving friends back home. I was relying on the support of my boyfriend instead of God. After being at Faith for, what, 6 days? My boyfriend traveled to
Ankeny, and broke up with me. A blow I don't even honestly think I could say I'm even over right now. Now I was REALLY alone.
The week that followed was MISERABLE. It's amazing how when your heartbroken, how the littlest tasks are so difficult. My mom told me to take it one step at a time (My mom is wonderful,
btw, incredibly supportive. This was around the time that Jennifer
Aniston and Brad Pitt were getting a divorce and all of those "Team Jennifer" and "Team Angelina" shirts came out. My mom made "Team Lauren" shirts and sent me one at Faith. My best friend ever, Dan, said he wanted one, too.
Lol. I love you, Dan!). I would literally be, in the morning getting ready for class, at my make up mirror, saying to myself, "
Ok, we're just gonna do
mascara now.
Ok, now we're gonna do blush." etc. I couldn't handle the thought of "
Ok Lauren, do all of your makeup." Don't worry, the goals soon got bigger and I was, as my cousin, Jessica, told me, "functioning"
lol. The weekend after the breakup, my wonderful friends surprised me by visiting! I cried and cried, I was so thankful to see friendly faces!!! It was Saturday and we could just hang out! That night was a
bbq at a lake that a guy had invited me to (it was his suite-mates
bbq....remember that for later :D
haha). At the beginning of the
bbq, his
suite mate gave a speech and asked people to pitch in a few bucks for the meat, etc. I thought, "Oh, crap! They're gonna think I'm so rude! I brought, like, 4 extra people!" I promptly ran up to the suite-mate, who was grilling, and handed him a twenty and said, "Hi! My name is Lauren, I brought some extra people so here's some money for that." He said, "Hi, I'm Drew. Thanks! Nice to meet you, Lauren." (Yep, its THAT Drew. He would later tell me that he had seen me before, but thought I was going to be stuck up because he thought I was so beautiful, and I had impressed him, because I was pretty much the only person to pitch in any money that night! Jerks, right??)
Over the next month or so, Drew and I became friends, talked over instant messenger, etc. I convinced myself he was not interested in me at all, and I, honestly, wanted nothing to do with him! I had just gotten hurt, I didn't want to be again! I literally begged and prayed to God to take this dude away. I didn't need the complications.
One night, after Drew and I hung out at his friends house, we got back to our dorms (lovely Faith curfew), and both hopped on
IM (dorky,
lol). I was irate. At him, at myself...I had started to like him. I didn't want to!! So why did I??? What kind of mess did I start now???? He
imed me and pretty much let him have it. I chewed him out and basically, in so many words, told him to go away and leave because everyone else does and I don't want to deal with it. He told me he'd never leave. I was so mad, I asked him to leave, he wouldn't. I said, "Why??? Why are you here???? Why do you 'care' so much????!?!" He said, "Stay with me, I've got a lot to type and it's gonna take a while." About 20 minutes later, I got a ginormous message saying how he was interested in me as more than a friend (wink wink) and basically saying if I hated him for that and didn't feel the same,
that's just fine. I took the leap; I told him I felt the same. "You do?!" He said,
haha. We proceeded to talk for about an hour more about how we were going to take things slow and be friends for a ridiculously long time and we were going to be careful and not get hurt, etc. (I've got the whole
IM convo saved if anyone is interested,
haha!)
Anyways, the details of our relationship are straight out of a love story written by God. I will be happy to elaborate some other time.
Back to Faith; Even with Drew, my year at Faith was awful. I had never met such mean, legalistic,
uber-
conservative people in my life! I gave up. After that year, I went home to Omaha and decided, "If that is what a Christian is supposed to be, I don't want anything to do with it." I spent the next few years battling with God.
Fast-forward again (as if this post isn't long enough already!), Summer of 2008, both of my Grandma's (I was very close to both) had passed away, I hated Iowa and my job, my marriage was suffering, and because of a drug-side effect disaster which made me unable to work for the first few months of marriage, so were our finances. One particular day, I was sick and throwing up, my boss was,
quite rude about it
, our car had been
repossessed, and one of my oldest friends decided to basically 'break up' with me. I was dying inside again. I called the one person I trusted for help; my cousin, Jessica. We met for coffee soon after. I told her all of the things that were getting me so down and she explained that I needed God again (something I knew, but somehow wasn't ready to admit until that point. Jessica has a wonderful way of saying exactly what needs to be said, some of it hard to hear, but in a way that isn't offensive. She's amazing, if you know her, you know what I mean.). She gave me a book called "Get out of that Pit" by Beth Moore. She was going to study it with me. Again, like the Jabez book from so long ago, I read it, and it changed everything.
We began attending church at Willow Creek Baptist in Des
Moines. I'm convinced it is the best church in the world. We've never met such loving, wonderful people. (THIS is what
Christians should be like.)
I got a new job! I work for a child development center for Iowa Health. I'm a teachers assistant and I have never loved a job more in my life!!! It was such a blessing from God to
receive it. At my job, I've met so many wonderful people. I have amazing co-workers. Specifically, I met Caitlin; who is quite possibly the most remarkable person I've ever met in my life. She's got the coolest story and she's so awesome. She has been such an encouragement to my spiritual walk. And the best thing ever ever ever ever ever???---She just got saved!
God is good. Amazing. Awesome. I can't believe how anyone can think they're 'living' without Him.
So that basically brings us to now. I'm still learning and growing. Things are getting better all the time. I'm not saying that my life is cupcakes and rainbows. But even through the bad times, I've got my Lord and Savior. What else is there?
Thanks for enduring this post.
Love,
Lauren
