The first line of my last post is a little ironic, considering this post comes over a year after it. Anyway, that isn't the point.
In less than a month, I will no longer be an Iowan. The day will soon come, the day I've wished for ever since we moved here, that I will return to my motherland. Omaha, Nebraska, here we come!
It was a sudden opportunity that was thrust upon us, but things are falling into place and I'm glad I don't have to plan a thing. Basically, as of right now, the only 'worry' we've got is renting out our home in Des Moines. It will happen though. Everything else has.
I've known we were going to be moving ever since Wednesday, September 8, at 4:30 p.m. However, the reality of the situation is just starting to hit me.
At first, I cried. I want to live in Omaha. I want to live near my family. I want a better job. I. Want. OUT. But.... all of my best friends are here! I didn't make any friends in college, that fact and some other situations that had occurred in my life led me to believe that I was just thoroughly and completely unlovable and unlikeable. My daycare coworkers proved that wrong. I've never met so many wonderful people that make me feel like I'm wonderful too. People I have REAL fun with. People who make me laugh till I cry. People who I can talk to and will listen and care.
Then there are the children I work with every day. I never leave for the day without getting at least one hundred hugs.
Between my friends and the children, I've given away so many pieces of my heart I won't be returning to Omaha with much of a heart at all. So much love to all my friends.
Tomorrow I am turning in my two weeks notice. The above feelings are still true, I will miss my friends and children very much, but I could not be more excited to only have two weeks left! I wanna party! I feel like Ferris Bueller. I'm gonna hijack a parade. Seriously, let's have a party or two before I'm gone, eh?
Now is where I get sentimental.
I've learned so much in the three years (has it only been three???) I've lived here. I'll not share the obvious adventures of learning to live 'on my own', being married, etc. Just the not so obvious ones.
I already spoke of making friends. I'll admit. I'm a loser! I'm a complete dweeby dork. I never understood why people liked me and understood completely when they decided they didn't like me anymore. This attitude made me feel like Chris Farley in "Tommy Boy" at the restaurant when he illustrates what he does with his 'pets' (clients) by using a dinner roll.(Not gonna explain the reference, go see the movie.)
I've learned that when Satan sees something in your life that you struggle with (i.e. confidence), he grabs hold and pulls with everything he's got. I wasn't thinking on the truth, I was believing lies that I was worthless and no one could possibly ever genuinely like me. God provided me with some of the best friends I've ever had and showed me the truth.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not arrogant. But I'm not worthless. I am a child of God. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a sinner who has been forgiven and cleansed. I am blessed.
I am talented. My friends at work sparked a passion in me. I was asked if I was artistic and replied "kinda" and the rest is history. I've done art project after art project for work and love making things with my hands. I want to do this. I've started freelance art projects and intend to do it more and more in the future. My heart is in woodburning, painting, drawing, etc. I've been asked if I took art classes. No, I haven't. In high school, I never thought I was good enough. Everyone else at OCA seemed so out of my league. I was embarrassed so I did nothing. Not anymore. I can do this. I'll be taking art classes in Omaha just as soon as my little hands can find some. Anyway, that's the passion, that's the plan.
I can't talk about significant Iowa experiences without mentioning Caitlin. Probably the most significant person I've ever met. If you've ever seen a life and heart changed by God, you know what I mean. We've drifted apart a bit, but I will never forget her, and I will always love her and appreciate how God LET me be blessed enough to be a part of her life. I love you, Caitlin.
That's all for now. I'm sure I'll realize more later.
What adventures and trials await me in Omaha? Tune in to find out.
One thing is always true, wherever/ whenever. God is good and in control.
The line it is drawn, The curse it is cast
The slow one now will later be fast
As the present now will later be past
The order is rapidly fadin'
And the first one now will later be last
For the times, they are a-changin'.
