Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Well, I think this is officially the week that everyone has already bailed on their New Years resolutions. 

You know I'm right. Calendar production companies should just go ahead and write that on in. 

Typically I don't make New Years resolutions because I know me: probably not gonna follow thru. 

It's like a diet. I don't believe in diets. I believe in lifestyle changes. Think of it this way: changing something so drastically to accomplish a 'small' goal you may have might be a quick way to reach the goal, but if you can't live with the changes forever, you will ultimately be unsuccessful in your journey. 

Also, pick something that actually matters to you. Yeah it might be nice for some to look great in a bikini, but will that matter to you in 20, 40, or 60 years? 

(Totally not advocating an unhealthy lifestyle. And if you're rocking your bikini, good for you!!! Just saying, that's not me.)

Last week in our Sunday school class, our teacher spoke on a topic that really hit home to me and I decided I officially needed to make a lifestyle change now more than ever. 

He spoke on love vs. hate. 

Is it easier to love or hate? 

I know my answer. Now for my confession:

I hate Ft. Smith, Arkansas. 

Let me get out my negative rant first:

We were happy in Omaha. We loved it there. My family is there. Our friends are there. I felt loved and needed there. THERE WAS STUFF TO DO!!!

Southern charm is definitely a thing, but it's fake. It's extremely difficult to get past the friendly veneer to the genuine person sometimes. Ft. Smith is a tough town if you're the new kid. People have their established groups. Not much room for new or different. This isn't true of everyone, but a decent majority. 

My first experiences here were very negative and hurtful.  I'm wounded and quite frankly, I'd like to just give up on trying. 

How is that better though?

My second confession might be more shocking than the first:

I haven't regretted moving here for a second. 

We knew for a fact that God wanted us to move here, so we did. I cling to that every day. 

If God wanted us here, it wasn't random. He has a purpose for us here. 

Call me crazy but I think it's safe to say that God didn't intend for me to just keep my living room couch company all day. 

That means I've gotta try... which means I've gotta love. 

It's my choice. I can see this for what it is- an opportunity- and choose to NOT waste it. 

I will make a conscious effort every day to "put on love" ( Col. 3:14) even if it means I might get hurt again. People always disappoint. God doesn't. I'm listening to Him now. 

I will try to get plugged in to groups at church that I enjoy and hopefully, while growing closer to God, make some great friends in the process. 

I actually have a lot of love to give. Now I'm going to. 

I don't enjoy this negativity I've felt here! I love to love, give, serve, and help!!! 

I'm praying for more opportunities to do those things :). 

In summation, my life change goal is this: 

LOVE Ft. Smith. 

Thanks for reading,

Lauren